Relationship Advice

Don’t try to be everything to your partner – you won’t succeed. The only thing you can do is continue to project those qualities that attracted them in the first place…

…while completely ruining those things they like, that you can’t pull off. 

Girls: He won’t get over that crush on Pamela Anderson? No problem - record yourself giving him Hepatitis, and then put it on the web.

Guys: She says she likes a man in uniform, but that’s not your thing? No problem – wait til she’s just falling asleep, dress up like a Marine and shit on her chest.

You’re welcome.

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