So I was at the mall yesterday…

October 7th, 2015 No comments

I feel like someone needs to justify to me why a thing like “slutty ninja turtle” is a costume that exists. I’m looking at you Hot Topic.

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I should be a rapper

September 7th, 2014 No comments
You’re havin’ third world problems I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 problems but a drone ain’t one!


I also might be a horrible person…

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I can’t take me anywhere.

August 28th, 2014 No comments

Not sure if coffee drone is tiny lesbian or just 12 yr old boy.

Its fucked up tho cause I wanna be like, man fuck Starbucks for using child labor, and like try to rescue the kid.

All like… run Beiber, run!!!

Except that all goes to shit when the response is, “Dude, I’m 32 and female.”

Then it’s like… oh, so now I’M the asshole?

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If I could be serious for a moment.

August 26th, 2014 No comments

I don’t know what these people are calling me out on this charity thing for. I make donations to help support single mothers every weekend at the strip club…

That shit totally counts when her stage name is Charity, right?

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I dont’ get it.

July 20th, 2014 No comments

So apparently being the only guy in the sushi bar to laugh out loud at the little kid on TV crying because his soccer team is getting curb stomped makes me the asshole…

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Ya know…

February 26th, 2012 No comments

There’s a reason we call them Video GAMES. If they were Video STORIES, they would be called MOVIES… just sayin.

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I feel like I’m a bad nerd.

January 19th, 2012 No comments

I’m trying to be excited about the RE6 announce trailer, and it’s cool and all, but it’s just that the controls for RE5 were just such complete and utter dogshit that I couldnt be fucked playing it for more than about 20 mins.

Here’s a hint. If you are making a survival horror game. I should be afraid of getting killed by the zombies/aliens/monsters/monkeys/old people… whatever. I shouldn’t be afraid of fighting with your ass lame controls.

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Avengers!!! Drop it like it’s hot!!

December 8th, 2011 No comments

I was informed today that Bendis is gone from The Avengers.

Since its been a little while since I read an Avengers book my question was: Which Avengers?

  • Mighty Avengers?
  • Dark Avengers?
  • New Avengers?
  • Secret Avengers?
  • Young Avengers?
  • Fluffy Avengers?

Seriously, I mean, I’m a fan and all but give me a break. There is a reason all of the Avengers spinoff books failed before, noone gives a shit about the Great Lakes Avengers. Ok, maybe West Coast Avengers I get, but really, you guys have Quinjets you’re telling me you can’t project force from NYC to fucking Michigan?

Worst. Superheroes. Ever.

Though, I would like to see a Dirty South Avengers book. I’d read the hell out of that. Andre 3000 could be the butler at the mansion, it would be sweet.

I just put that shit out there in the universe didn’t I?

Quesada’s ears are tingling somewhere.

Avengers: Hotlanta, c’mon Joe make it happen!

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It’s Just a Vibe I Get…

August 29th, 2010 No comments

For the Record: I’m not a fan of the fat judge on “Masterchef.” He looks like the kind of guy who’d go around telling people he’s Blues Traveller just to get laid.

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August 23rd, 2010 No comments

OMIT in a Nutshell

…that about says it.

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